It seems like the other day you couldn’t pry your daughter off you with a crowbar. She wanted to be along for the ride everywhere you went, anything you were doing. Now she’s becoming big and independent. Suddenly, hanging out with you or coming home ranks on the fun scale somewhere between typing a term paper on biology and washing out the rain gutters.
It’s difficult not to feel hurt when your daughter now sighs and rolls her eyes at the very idea of coming home for dinner when, two years ago, she would’ve sold their interest in hanging out with friends to come. What could have led to such a shift? What makes your daughter refuse to be at home? Stay locked.
What Can Make Your Daughter Never Wants To Be Home
Several factors can make your daughter refuse to come home. Some may be caused by you, while others may be out f your control. Here are possible reasons that can make your daughter never wants to be home:
You Treat Her Like A Kid
If your daughter is grown or a teenager, she may want to feel grown up and often gravitate to where she most feels that way. The more you make her feel respected and mature at home, the happier she’ll be there. And even if she still acts childish at times, it’s your job as her parent to encourage and call out the emerging adult inside her.
So, once your daughter grows, you need to adapt to how you treat and speak to her. Quit talking down to her, calling her by her baby name, or cutting her meat. It’s about time to raise the bar and encourage her to maturity. Look at her and relate to her like an adult in the making, and she’ll respond positively.
You Make Her Feel Smothered
Teens can feel smothered with rules or questions, affection, or just being in their business. So, what makes your daughter feels smothered may be different from what you think is suffocating. When teenagers feel smothered, they’ll want to run away.
Your daughter may want to feel like she has some control over who is in her space, including you. Yes, you need to have boundaries, but for your daughter’s sake, you need to back off and give her room to figure things out. And although she’ll make mistakes or miss deadlines, that’s part of growing up, and she’ll respect you more and come to you always.
You Give Her Too Much Freedom
You may think you’re being a fantastic parent and giving your daughter too much freedom is the best way to maintain a positive relationship. However, it doesn’t always work that way.
Giving your daughter too much freedom can easily land her in social scenes that she’s unprepared for and face peer pressure that she doesn’t know how to handle. This may result in her trying to fit in elsewhere and no longer wanting to connect at home.
All grown kids need and want boundaries. For this reason, it’s best to let your daughter’s level of responsibility and maturity lead to how much freedom you give her. Encourage and help her to find positive social outlets, and give her independence as she proves responsible.
Remember that sometimes your daughter may ask to do something because she feels like she has to, but deep down, she may not want to. And in such times, she may be relieved when you say no. For instance, you may assume your daughter wants to rush out of the door on weekends. But sometimes, she may be quiet and happy at home watching Netflix with the family.
You Are Over Critical
If your daughter feels like every time she’s at home, she’s being pricked apart by you and your partner; she will find ways to not be at home. There are things to criticize and correct in your teen, but you have to choose wisely. Extend much grace and overlook what you can.
Balancing your criticism and correction with encouragement is very crucial. Doing so will build up the positive things your daughter is doing, and she’ll be motivated to do more. You may assume your kid knows how much you love her. However, a few words of specific encouragement can go a long way.
Your Home Environment Is Unpleasant
Nobody wants to be in an unpleasant home environment, and so is your daughter. And this may be one of the main reasons for her not wanting to be at home. If you’re constantly stressed out, fight with your partner, or walk around with a cloud of negativity over you, it will affect your daughter. And when she’s older and has other options than staying in an unhappy place, be sure she’ll go.
So, if your daughter never wants to be home, take a step and evaluate your home environment. There may be stuff you need to work through to make yourself and your home pleasant. Once you do that, you’ll be surprised to find your daughter in less rush to get out of there.
You Don’t Show Interest In Her Interests
Your daughter has opinions, thoughts, questions, and concerns. And even if she’s the quietest type, she still has a lot going on in her mind. So, if you’re always too busy to listen to her daily thoughts and ideas, she’ll look for someone who will or learn to keep to herself.
Yes, it’s hard when you’re also busy and have a lot going on. But try as much as you can to stop and listen to her without distractions. Stop and look her in the eye when she speaks, and show her that you value what she says. This intentional act may be all you need to mend your relationship with your daughter.
If your daughter never wants to be home, pause and assess the situation. Find out what could have made her feel and decide that way. It could be how you treat her, the home environment, or other factors. Once you know the root cause, try to amend the situation. Remember to be patient as you work through your relationship with your daughter.