Husband Defends Stepson: Being a stepparent is challenging on its own. It can become even more challenging when you have stepkids, and your husband defends them whenever a disagreement ensues between you and them. Feeling like your husband and his stepson are united against you can make you feel unloved and unwanted.
Under normal circumstances, you want to create bonds within your family and not be made to feel like an enemy or intruder. And your husband backing his child against you can create an unhealthy bond between you and your stepson. What makes your husband do such things? And what should you do in such a situation? Read on!
Reasons Why your Husband Defends His Son
Various reasons can make your husband defends his son, whether triggered by you or not. Here are possible pointers:
Before taking any offense, how’s your behavior? Have you ever been a parent before? Does your stepson have valid reasons for the problems affecting your relationship?
Start by examining your behavior, actions, and reactions, and establish whether you’ve been kind, considerate, or too harsh when dealing with your stepson.
If you’ve been the latter, try not to sweat the small stuff and avoid conflict. You may also want to loosen the reigns if you’re harsh and demanding. Light up and enjoy time with your stepson instead of driving the wedge between you and him.
Your Relationship With Your Husband
How’s your relationship with your husband? Do you resent his favoritism over his son, or are you fine with it?
Having a good relationship Husband Defends Stepson with your husband is very crucial. Communicating and working together as a team is the only way through this. Don’t feel sad, angry, or resent your stepchild because your husband chooses him over you. That can make you feel like your opinions will be immediately hushed, and you don’t want that.
Try to see past that. Embrace your stepson and try to establish a common parenting ground. Try your best to enforce loyalty, consistency, and trust between you and him. This will ensure you are united and support one another instead of having conflict over your stepson’s behavior.
Your Stepson’s Behavior
Sometimes your stepson may be the root of all your problems. He may be a troubled child. Now add that to separation, divorce, and stepparent together, and you’ll realize it’s a lot for him to handle.
Your stepson may be the one sowing seeds of disrespect from your husband by allying against you. He may be casting you in a bad light or exaggerating details when he talks about you with his father.
In such a case, you need to make your husband realize his son is behaving unacceptably and inappropriately. Your husband needs to make it clear to his son that he should treat you appropriately, respectfully, and kindly.
How to Handle a Situation When Your Husband Defends His Son
Depending on what made your husband defend his son, there are various ways of addressing the situation.
Personal Growth: Invest in Yourself
If you realize you’re the one in the wrong and have been treating your stepson in a bad way, stop that. Work on yourself to establish what made you do the things you have done.
Was it your partner’s preference for his son? The two of them spending more time together? Or you felt left out and like a stranger in your home?
Begin embracing your stepson as your own, and treat him with love and kindness. Be there for him anytime he needs you. Be interested in his passions, interests, and hobbies, and it will be easy for you two to bond. Don’t overstep and respect boundaries always.
Show Your Stepson You Care For Him
Sometimes children see their stepparent as the enemy, making them take out their frustration on them. Having someone new come into his father’s life can make your stepson feel out of place or uncomfortable.
Show your stepson that you love his father and him very much. You want to be happy and form stronger bonds with your stepson here. Your stepson has already formed strong bonds and loyalty with his biological parents.
When you show him that you love him and his father, he may start to feel like you are on his side as he learns more about you and starts to trust you. Be a role model; show him kindness and love even when he makes it difficult. And eventually, he will reciprocate.
Work With Your Partner
Working with your partner makes it easy to handle the situation. You two have come together in marriage; you should ensure your bond comes above the rest. Your spouse has decided to spend his life with you. Therefore, he should be fair regarding conflicts between you and his son, and your preferences shouldn’t be at the back seat to what your stepson wants.
As a family, Husband Defends Stepson you should compromise to make things work at home. You can expect ill will from your stepson at first, but he should get over that over time. Be patient, but make your husband know that you feel singled out and silenced. Look for ways to make your stepson see you and his father on a united front.
Let Your Husband Discipline His Son
Although it sounds difficult, let your husband handles the discipline. Your husband’s fear and guilt of how their family split may have prevented him from disciplining his son. He may be trying to compensate for that by spoiling him, which will work against him in the long run.
Help your husband work through these fears and feelings to realize that raising his son to listen and follow the rules is the best. When he lets his son get away with bad things, things will worsen, and his son may eventually lack regard for other adults in charge or the rules. So, it’s better to act now.
Husband Defends Stepson: Having a husband defends his son can make living in a blended family challenging. When you find yourself in such a scenario, establish the cause. If you’re the one resenting the stepson, work on yourself, embrace and love him as your own. If your stepson is a troubled child, work with your husband to help him be the best version of himself. And if your husband is enabling the behaviors, make him understand that whatever he’s doing will hurt his son in the long run.