Why Men Return to Baby Mamas: Psychological Insights
While there are many reasons a relationship may end, it’s hard to deny the fact that infidelity is one of the leading causes. In fact, in the United States, about 40 percent of divorces are due to infidelity and untrustworthiness.
Also, according to the Institute for Family Studies (IFS), about 20% of men in the US cheat in their marriages. And as per the study, most of these men cheat with their exes or baby mamas.
While these statistics are startling, I am sure that we have all heard these stories from our friends and family members who have gone through this and have ended up in a failed marriage. We can’t help but ask ourselves, why?
For instance, why do guys always go back to their baby mamas? Exes? Or are there some deeper psychological reasons at play? Keep reading to learn more.
Reasons Why Guys Go Back to Their Baby Mamas
It’s a Family
It’s hard for guys to break ties with their children. If the woman has kids, it’s harder for him to walk away from them. He doesn’t want his kids to think that he abandoned them, so he’ll return even if they have a messy relationship with their mother.
He’s Used To Her
He’s been with her for so long that he’s just used to her. Used to the fights, the drama, the back and forth, and all that other stuff. He knows what she’s like, and he already knows it doesn’t work with anyone else, so he’ll keep going back to her since it’s easier than trying something new.
He still Love Her
They still have feelings for her, even if she cheated on them or controlled them in other ways. They may not want to admit it out loud, but deep down inside, they know if given a chance, things would be different. They’d be able to make it work this time around!
They think she will Change
Guys usually go back to their baby mamas, thinking they have changed since their departure. It’s common for men to think that if they give the woman enough time and space, she’ll come back to him with a new attitude about the relationship or herself.
In reality, this rarely happens, and by then, he will have wasted numerous years of his life trying to fix something that was never going to be fixed anyway.
Fear of Being Labeled as a Deadbeat Dad
Men don’t want to be labeled as deadbeat dads. They want their children to know that they love them and want to be a part of their lives, even if it means paying child support.
They’re afraid of being replaced by another man in the child’s life. Some men fear that if they stop seeing or talking with their baby mama, another man will come along and fill the void in their child’s life.
They feel like they’re missing out on important milestones in their child’s life. This is especially common among fathers who were absent during pregnancy and early childhood years
Physical Attraction
Physical appearance is more important than kindness and empathy when choosing a partner. This is why men end up going back to their baby mamas. Having no regard for their children’s feelings, they choose former lovers over their new spouses because they are more physically attracted to them.
This is not just true for men but also for women.
They’re Afraid of Being Alone
Most guys aren’t cut out for single parenthood; they need someone else in the house to take care of things while they work. They want someone who is understanding, loving, and matching traits. So in most cases, they would prefer going back to their baby mamas, whom at least they know very well and have a common history together.
They’re Codependent and Lack Self-esteem
A lot of guys who go back to their baby mamas can’t seem to move on from their past relationships because they lack confidence in themselves.
They lack codependency. They don’t want to be without someone who loves and cares for them. So once the current relationship ends, they feel lost, betrayed, and confused. And in most cases, they are only left with one option: to engage their baby mamas.
Similarly, a lack of self-esteem can entice guys to reunite with toxic baby mamas. A man who truly values himself will hardly tolerate such unhealthy relationships even if they share certain obligations.
They Are Guilty
Guilt is a powerful motivator for guys reuniting with their baby mamas. They feel guilty about leaving their children behind. Also, they are guilty of cheating, lying, and neglecting the woman they promised to love forever.
Even though they may not be ready for a relationship or even see a future with her, they still feel bad about hurting someone who trusted them enough to have their child. And because of this guilt, they feel obligated to make things right by reuniting with them.
It’s not about love or even sex; it’s about making things right with the person who gave birth to their child.
Guys Always Go Back to Their Baby Mamas Because They Can’t Afford To!
Some guys have financial obligations that they can’t ignore or neglect, especially when supporting their children. They even might have signed up for joint custody or shared parental responsibility when they got engaged or married before separation.
So they have no choice but to do what’s best for their children and provide the best possible life despite the underlying differences.
Lack of Respect for Self and Others
This is another common reason why men go back to their baby mamas. They don’t respect themselves enough to be single, so they decide to resume unhealthy relationships with their baby mamas.
It’s an endless cycle that will continue until one gets sick and tired of it and decides to change their ways.
Bottom Line
In the end, the choice to go back to a baby mama is often complex and rooted in a person’s history and character. There is usually something that prevents men from breaking away from these women. Some are obvious, like financial debt or the desire to share custody of the child(ren), while others are more subtle.
However, blaming this behavior on men not being able to control themselves can be an easy way out. Treating these men with understanding and combating the real problem could save quite a few relationships from ending.
