Stop Cuddling with Daughter: The “father/daughter cuddle” debate has bounced around the parenting blogosphere over the years. Some decry it as inappropriate, while others think it’s fine and harmless. Others still avoid it, not to risk a second look from protective mothers-in-law (or wives) or to save themselves from the dirty looks of colleagues. But when should you stop?
Although cuddling and snuggling with your daughter is a great experience, at one point, she will need to grow out of it. So when is this time? You don’t have to worry about this.
Although knowing the exact time may prove intimidating, there are actually pretty obvious signs you can observe with your daughter that can tell you when the time is ripe.
When To Stop Cuddling With Your Daughter
If you’re a dad, you’ve probably been there. Your daughter is a teenager now, and she’s starting to push back against her dad’s affectionate ways.
“Whoa, what’s going on?” you wonder. “Why doesn’t she want me to cuddle her anymore?” It’s okay to ask yourself these questions and even discuss them with your wife or other family members — however, be careful how you do it.
It’s not just that your daughter doesn’t want to be cuddled anymore. She has grown, so she needs to be independent, and cuddling may seem like an invasion of her privacy.
So indeed, there comes a time when you need to stop the cuddling. Yet, the nightmare remains, when? Which age? Circumstance?
Here is when you should stop cuddling with your daughter:
Age(Past 18 years)
If she’s in her 20s or older, it might seem weird for you to sit on the couch with her and hold her hand or put your arm around her shoulder. She may even feel like she has to explain why such closeness isn’t appropriate for her anymore.
She Doesn’t Want to
You should respect her boundaries and give her space, so if your daughter doesn’t want to be physically close to you anymore, respect that desire and back off.
You have crossed the line between affection and lust
You should not uncomfortably touch her body. This could become sexual abuse if you continue to do so.
She feels embarrassed because of their culture or religion
A father should never force his daughter into doing something that goes against their beliefs or culture, as this will cause them to feel ashamed of themselves and possibly ruin their relationship.
Ultimately, the relationship between father and daughter should always be kept at a professional level, so don’t let any other emotion come into play, especially when it comes to sex or physical intimacy.
Keep reading to learn more about the father and daughter relationship, cuddling, and boundaries. Foremost, we discuss the benefits of father-daughter cuddling. Let’s dive in.
Why Cuddle With Your Daughter?
Cuddling with your daughter is a potent form of caregiving—it strengthens the emotional bond, making her feel loved and secure. Similarly, when we cuddle with our children, we provide them with comfort, reassurance, and affection.
Here are basic reasons why you should cuddle with your daughter.
It Reinforces Your Bond As Father and Daughter
Cuddling with your daughter strengthens your bond as father and daughter. You are showing affection to your child, which will help her feel more secure. It will also provide opportunities for communication between father and daughter, translating to unconditional love.
Cuddling Builds Trust
It is a great way to build trust in your relationship with your daughter. You can use it to comfort her when she’s upset or calm her down before sleep. You can also use it to make her feel safe and cared for.
So get in the habit of cuddling with your youngest daughter as early as possible. In addition to building trust, cuddling will give you a chance to spend meaningful time with her. In turn, she will appreciate your fatherhood.
Even if she’s too young for a real conversation now, she’ll still soak up your attention and affection—and someday soon, you’ll have the pleasure of having a grown-up conversation.
Cuddling Allows Kids To Explore Their Emotions
Kids are often very expressive. They don’t hold back their emotions, and they don’t always know how to express them. This is why cuddling is a great way to help them figure out what they are feeling.
Through cuddling, your daughter will explore her emotions in a safe space without fear of judgment or criticism.
Cuddling Develops Empathy
Through cuddling, your daughter will look up to you as a role model for emotional intelligence and empathy. She’ll learn how it feels to be loved unconditionally by another person — even if she doesn’t always act like a perfect angel!
Needless to say, cuddling will also teach her how other people feel when they’re sad or angry so that she can better understand their needs.
Cuddling Creates Opportunities To Talk About Feelings
Children often don’t know how to express their emotions, especially if they’re having trouble at school or with friends. They may have trouble expressing themselves verbally or nonverbally, making them internalize what they’re dealing with instead of communicating.
So by cuddlings with her, you will have the opportunity to read emotions and ask relevant questions. You may even find out that she had trouble sleeping or had a bad day at school.
Clearly, there is no black and white right and wrong answer to this question. Instead, the right course of action will depend on the context, including your relationship with your daughter. If she’s old enough to understand boundaries in the friendship, or if it would be appropriate to say “I have to work late” or “I need to study this weekend,” you should refrain from cuddling with her.
But there will be other times when it’s perfectly fine for you to enjoy quality time together without worrying about any potential long-term consequences that may arise as a result – just remember that you are the father. She is your little girl for now, so be smart and take care of her but don’t go overboard.