FAMILY LIFE

My Sister is a Bad Parent: What should You Do?

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My Sister is a Bad Parent

There are a few tell-tale signs that a mother is bad. These include erratic mood swings, feelings of guilt, no maternal love, and little or no acknowledgment for anything you do. These symptoms can be indicative of a poor upbringing, unhealthy schedules, and an inability to show emotions. It can be downright troubling if your sister is what you’d describe as a bad mother. How do you know for certain that your sister is a bad mother. Here are the explicable signs that your sister is a bad mother.

Signs of a Sister That is a Bas Mother

Neglecting a Child

Neglecting a child physically or emotionally can have a devastating effect in their upbringing. A bad mother only makes the situation worse, as she is in no position to provide the love and affection that a child needs.

Although it’s tempting to believe you can divorce yourself from your children temporarily, children are often profoundly affected by how their parents interact with them. A bad mother, who neglects her child for long periods of time, will likely cause the child to feel neglected and might even have an adverse effect on the child’s relationship with his or her father.

Children can also interpret neglectful behavior on the part of their mothers as criticism of their father and may even resent him more.

A baby’s most important social and emotional development takes place through interactions with its mother. As a baby begins to realize the world around her, her mother is there to soothe her fears and answer any questions that arise.

Physical and Verbal Abuse

Although many people believe that a mother has no place abusing her child, the fact is that mothers are responsible for the majority of child abuse cases.

A bad mother may not intend to hurt her child, but if she exhibits violent behavior, such as raging at or spanking their children whenever they don’t behave as she would like, her intentions don’t really matter.

She will most likely think she’s right in abusing her child and will do what she feels is necessary to get her point across in order to discipline her children. Shouting in a child’s face, swatting him with a switch, or pulling his hair are all examples of how a bad mother might physically abuse their child.

Physical violence is only one form of abuse that can be attributed to a bad mother.

Sexual abuse, while not as common, is still an issue that needs to be addressed. Extremely harsh or harsh verbal punishment may also lead to psychological damage and mood disorders in children who have been affected.  Violence or verbal abuse can cause the child to feel worthless and unwanted, which is the last thing a good mother should inflict upon her children.

Not Setting a Good Example

Bad mothers of the world seem to have one thing in common: they never set a good example for their children. Whether it’s drinking alcohol, smoking cigars, or yelling profanities in front of their children, no matter what a mother does, her child is bound to follow suit.

Some would argue that bad mothers are more attentive than their “good” counterparts. After all, a mother who smokes marijuana around her child feels as though she is providing him with an example of how to behave or think.

 

Regardless of a mother’s intentions, setting a bad example for your children will have a negative impact on how they relate to you, as well as how they react to others when they mature into adults. Children who witness their parents behaving in a manner that is inappropriate or even alarming are often likely to become rebellious. Bad examples may also cause children to feel insecure and behave in the same way so they do not feel left out and ignored by their peers.

Too Much Pampering

It is important to remember that to some extent all mothers are over-protective, as they are often doing their best to raise their children. However, bad mothers tend to become more controlling as their children grow up and demand more attention.

A bad mother will take their child’s requests for affection too seriously and may become afraid that if she doesn’t pay attention to her child then he or she will forget about her.

In addition, a good mother will always be aware of their child’s needs and will be able to find ways to cater to those needs. However, a bad mother might take their child’s preferences too far and resort to baby-sitting them constantly. This is generally the opposite of what a good mother would do and can result in children who are over-pampered.

Authoritarianism

An authoritarian mother will often find it difficult to separate her feelings from those of her children. This is because a bad mother is usually only concerned with how their child feels about them instead of caring about how their child is doing as an individual.

A child needs his parents to play certain roles and he needs to trust that they are doing what is best for him. A bad mother, however, may feel threatened when her child becomes independent and may try to bring him back under her control. An authoritarian mother might use their child’s fear of her to hold him back.

Authoritarians tend to be less sensitive and more willing to force their desires upon their children, as well as being more rigid about their beliefs and principles. Authoritarian mothers may require total obedience from their children and believe in violence as a way of correcting disobedience.

What to Do if Your Sister is a Bad Mother

If you feel like your sister is a bad mother, it might be prudent to intervene.  It may be a fine line to walk; however, the best approach is to confront her in a gentle manner.

-Let her know that you are worried about how she is treating your nephew and that you do not think it is acceptable. If she is defensive, let her know that you will support her no matter what, but would like her to consider your opinion.

-If this approach does not work—if she refuses to acknowledge or change her behavior—you might want to try talking with other family members, such as your mother or father.

Explain to them that you are concerned about the way your sister is relating to her child and ask if they have any advice for you.

Most importantly, it is important that you speak with her in private instead of complaining to others.

By bringing too much attention to the situation, she might start reacting defensively, which may make matters worse.

Another thing you should remember when talking to your sister is that it might be easier for her at first if you focus more on her good qualities rather than berating her mistakes as a mother. If your sister is a good mother, she will eventually see the advantages of taking your advice and learn from her mistakes.

Julian

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