Dating a narcissist can create a ton of anxiety. If you’re reading this article, you probably have questions about dealing with your daughter’s boyfriend. Take a deep breath and take the following steps to get through these tough times.
Both of us want our daughters to be happy and safe — but I know what it’s like to be in an abusive relationship. So, you will want to try your best to liberate your daughter.
This article will help you identify some of the common traits of narcissism in your daughter’s fiancé and how to support your daughter in this somehow toxic relationship.
Common Basic Narcissist Traits
You may wonder what to expect if your daughter is dating a narcissist. Here are some of the most common traits that you may notice in a narcissist:
- They’re self-absorbed
Narcissists have an inflated sense of self-importance and a lack of empathy for others. They tend to be selfish and may disregard your feelings or those of others.
They also have an exaggerated sense of entitlement, believing they should have whatever they want without working for it or making any effort.
- They have difficulty maintaining healthy relationships.
Narcissists have trouble forming relationships because they cannot relate to others intimately. They often feel superior to those around them, which can cause them to act haughty and disdainful toward their partners.
Narcissistic partners may also exhibit behaviors such as being critical, criticizing, and blaming their partners for everything that goes wrong in their lives. Ideally, most narcissists are extremely charming, even if they don’t realize it themselves.
They can convince you that you’re the only one who understands them, when, all along, they were after using you for their gain or pleasure.
- They are all about control
They are constantly trying to control you by belittling you in front of others and ensuring that you do what he wants to be done when he wants it done. So, if you don’t follow his rules, the relationship may suffer greatly in the end, as trusting him will not be easy.
- They expect constant attention from others
They don’t just want it; they need it. They may have a few close friends, but they cannot form emotional bonds with anyone else. They can be highly unpredictable in their emotional responses to people and situations.
Narcissists are extremely jealous of other people’s relationships with others and will often try to sabotage them for their benefit. They also may try to break up families that are too close together and take advantage of the situation by creating drama to get attention from others.
- They expect admiration
A narcissist expects praise, attention, and admiration for everything they do. The narcissist believes that he is the best, superior and perfect. If someone doesn’t lavish praise on him or if he doesn’t get the response he desires, the narcissist may become angry or even violent.
What to Expect if Your Daughter Is Dating a Narcissist
You will probably deal with many emotions if your daughter is dating a narcissist. You will obviously be angry and frustrated and feel like she is being manipulated, lied to, or taken advantage of. You will also be concerned about her safety and her mental well-being.
However, no matter what feelings you have for your daughter, one thing is certain: Your daughter deserves to be treated with respect and dignity. She should have a voice in the decisions made about her — both big and small ones. Simply, she shouldn’t be manipulated by whichever means.
So as a parent, try to stand by your daughter on all occasions until she overcomes. Face the narcissist without fear, and let him know that you care about your daughter and you cannot let him get away with it.
Helping Your Daughter Deal With a Narcissist Husband
As hinted earlier, dating a narcissist is a mind-boggling experience. It means you have to deal with their intense mood swings and emotional abuse, but also their inability to see your point of view or empathize with you.
Fortunately, there are some steps that you can take to help your daughter go through this situation. Here are some tips:
- Don’t put up with it!
If your daughter is dating a narcissist, it’s time for you to take a stand against what they’re doing. Make sure they know you won’t tolerate it anymore. This may be difficult when they’re in abusive relationships, but it’s important that they know your boundaries and that they can’t push them around anymore.
- Don’t try to fix them
When we try to change narcissistic people, we usually make things worse instead of better. They may seem to be getting better at first, but the cycle starts over again since changing their behavior isn’t part of their personality type.
- Help her see the relationship from an objective standpoint
Narcissists often have a completely different view of reality than most people do. They see themselves as superior and entitled to special treatment from others — including their spouses — which can cause them to become abusive and inconsiderate toward their partners.
- Give her space and support
Your main job as a parent is to provide your daughter with love, security, and stability. If her husband abused her, this needs to be priority number one for you – above everything else in your life right now!
Your daughter needs all of the emotional support she can get right now. She may also need time alone to sort things out on her own terms without being interrupted or interfered with by anyone, including you!
- Find out if there is anything that could be done to improve the relationship
Things like setting boundaries or changing jobs/responsibilities so one can pursue their interests without being in constant conflict with the other partner can help.
As the person closest to your daughter, you have a very important role in helping her manage her relationship. You can better provide comfort and reassurance that no, she is not being selfish or irrational by “not accepting” her partner, and no, it’s not all her fault.
It’s also your job to help her recognize when she is being mistreated so that she can act appropriately to escape this unhealthy situation.