Moving On: How to Stop Loving the Father of Your Child as a Single Mom
When two people are deeply in love, relationships are enjoyable and thrilling. It’s lovely to be able to share your affection with someone who shares your feelings. Relationships can also come to an end suddenly or gradually. It’s not always simple to go on with your life when things don’t work out with your relationship. It’s considerably more distressing when you break up right after you find out you’re pregnant or after the baby is born.
When this happens, you experience bitterness, hatred, and a sense of dread. How is it possible for the cosmos to make everything worse? When this occurs, the next stage should be to focus on loving your child and figuring out how to quit loving your child’s father. He betrayed you. He is unworthy of your affection.
Many women deal with challenges involving their relationship with baby daddy on their own. Every move you make must be approached with caution, as any action you perform will indirectly or directly impact your baby. Do not feel sorry for yourself. There was most certainly a reason for the breakup. Being a single mother may be exhausting. This is why, when you feel you can’t handle anything, you need to have a support system around you. Your support system should consist of close friends and relatives. It can be difficult to transition from adoring your baby’s father to resenting him or later thinking of reconciling with him.
How to Stop Loving the Father of Your Child
The following are some tips that might help you to stop loving the father of your child as a single mom:
Don’t Get Caught Up in the Past
You believed you and the father of your child was a match made in heaven before you parted ways. You adored him and fantasized about spending the rest of your life with him. He was the sweetest, took good care of you, and even made you feel valuable. However, something happened along the road, and by the time your child was born, you and your partner were at odds.
It can be painful to recall the pleasant times you had with your baby daddy. Reminiscing on the past will bring up memories that will worsen the issue. No matter how wonderful they were in the past, you can let go of a person you love and have a child with. Consider the present and the part he played in putting you in this circumstance.
Don’t Give the Impression that you’re Desperate
Even for successful women, that desperate look is unattractive. Do not make him feel like you care about him too much to the point where you drop everything when he calls. Make it clear to him that you have options. You are a lovely young lady, and plenty of men would gladly give their lives to be with you.
Begin to See Other People
The relationship between you and your baby’s father has broken down. You probably tried numerous times to rekindle the affection, but none of your efforts were successful. It isn’t the end of the world. You can still try dating other people. And, no, your kid will not hinder your attempts to find new love. Even after failed relationships, many single parents continue to date other people.
Come to Terms with Yourself
It may be challenging to come to terms with losing a relationship with your child’s father, but it is vital. Accept and move on from what life has thrown at you. As you begin your road of healing and acceptance, try to find relaxation practices that work for you. At this moment, denial is the most dangerous threat.
- Do Not Consider Your Child to be an Extension of their Father.
You adore your child more than anything else on the planet. This affection shouldn’t be confused with your feelings for their father. Try not to see the child as a reflection of their father. They may share many physical characteristics with their father, yet they are not the same person.
Impose Boundaries
Setting limits with your child’s father should be your priority when you begin co-parenting. Although you once shared a life and even had a child together, make him know that things have changed. Consider how to split up with your child’s father without causing a scene, and discuss the best time to meet and whom he can bring with him when he comes to visit the child.
Tell him that he is not always welcome to remain at your home and that if he does, he must adhere to the house rules. Set limits on how close you and your partner can get. It’s not simple to co-parent with someone you no longer love or are trying to get over. During one of the visits, emotions may be running high.
Cut Ties with Some of Your Mutual Friends
When you’re in a relationship with someone, you get to know their friends, and they get to know yours. When you get together, you make new friends as well. When a relationship goes wrong, having mutual friends might be a burden.
When connecting with mutual friends, your baby daddy’s name may come up once in a while in the conversation. This isn’t helpful because you’re attempting to quit loving him. The mere mention of his name will bring back memories of a time you’d rather forget. Cut ties with people you don’t want to spend time with. It is beneficial to your mental health.
Be the Fun Mom
A broken relationship with a child in the picture will make you loathe yourself for a brief moment. You’ll reflect on all the things you’ve done wrong and even attempt to correct them. You’ll be crying for days, cursing the day you met your child’s dad, and swearing never to get into another relationship. This should not break you.
Get up and confront reality after you’ve finished feeling sorry for yourself. Do not isolate yourself in your home as if you are ill. Consider your baby’s interests and make sure they have all they require. After you’ve taken care of everything, go out and have some fun. It will help you cope if you go out on a girls’ night out, take yourself on dates, and be a free bird.
Seek Professional Assistance
There’s a reason why therapists and counselors exist. Take yourself to a professional for aid if everything else fails. This is one of the nicest things you can offer yourself. Therapists and counselors are qualified to understand and assist you resolve your problems.
Final Take
It’s possible that what works for your friend won’t work for you. Examine your circumstances and observe how baby daddy behaves. The decision to cease loving your child’s father should come from within. You should not be influenced by society, friends, social media, or other external forces. Most essential, choose yourself and your child’s well-being. Keep in mind that kids are observant and can read a room. A mental breakdown in you can have an impact on your child. Learn how to be a strong parent for your child. They require you more than anything else.
