You have wanted to be a mom for so long, and then boom, the child comes, and you start feeling like it’s too much for you. Being a mom can put even the strongest woman down, whether prepared for it or not.
There are days when you feel inadequate, others you are in high spirits. Don’t panic; it is normal for mothers to feel so. You have to sacrifice so much; social life, finances, sleep, and physical appearance. In this article, we look at what can make being a mom too much for you and how to handle it.
Signs That Indicate Being A Mom Is Too Much For You
Some signs that show you are overwhelmed by motherhood include;
Burn-out and exhaustion
When you wake up feeling overwhelmed and lack the energy to move on, it could be an indicator that motherhood has taken a toll on you. This is common when you have young children, especially multiples, who require your attention all through.
To solve such exhaustion and burnout, you may require a helping hand. You could get a nanny and have your spouse or family member help you care for the children. Too much pressure leads to mental and physical breakdowns.
Being a mom is a round-the-clock job with no pay and unsatisfying. It could put you down, especially when you don’t achieve your expected outcomes. As a mother, you have a pattern you would wish your children to follow in life. You want them to be the best in school, have good social relations, be religious if you are, and be good kids. The truth is that it wouldn’t always happen like that. Such frustrations could lead to depression and, worst-case scenario, suicidal thoughts.
When you start resenting your children, it’s a sign being a mom has become too much for you.
When overwhelmed by motherhood, anxiety can set in. You worry about everything concerning your children, real and imagined. You might also find it hard to concentrate on otherwise simple tasks, or you could lose memory. At this point, you require support to prevent mental breakdown.
You Put Your Life On Hold
What this means is that you have stopped putting effort into anything that concerns you. You have time to rest, hobbies, career, and social activities your life comes to a standstill, and you focus all your efforts on the children.
What Makes You Feel Overwhelmed Being A Mom
One of the primary causes of motherhood being too much on you could be pressure. You see, with the birth of every child, you will make certain sacrifices; financial, physical, emotional, and social. Physically, you need a bigger living space and have to sacrifice more time to be with the kids. Emotionally, you will need to support each child individually.
You help them chart their own identity and path in life. Each child has personal needs that require finances and will strain on you. Motherhood calls for sacrificing some social habits. For instance, you could reduce your frequency of partying or traveling to have time with your children. All these pressures could make you hate being a mom.
People could make you feel like being a mom is a walk in the park. That’s far from the truth. You should be mentally prepared for motherhood as it requires lots of sacrifices. Be prepared to share your space, spend more, get some physical changes, and adjust your social activities. If you become a mother before you prepare yourself properly, you will hate it.
When you fail to meet the ideal standards of a mother, you could hate being one. Society can put too much pressure on you to be a good mother. The truth is that there is no ideal motherhood. You will make mistakes, learn some things as you continue mothering, and have regrets some days. Your children will not be perfect either. To avoid feeling like a bad mom, lower your expectations.
How To Deal With Such Feeling
- Acknowledge you are not a perfect mother. Give yourself room for errors and failures. Perfectionists may find it hard to deal with this fact, but with time you can handle it.
- Identify the cause. When you identify a problem, you are on the right path to solving it. Evaluate your situation and try to come up with a solution. If you need rest or a break from the children, do it. If you need to adjust your life to accommodate the children, find out what you can do to avoid the feeling of motherhood being too much for you.
- Speak out. Talk to someone you trust before the situation gets out of hand. It could be your spouse, family member, or religious leader. If you still don’t feel okay, consider talking to a professional therapist.
- Manage your expectations.
- Get help in taking care of the children. You could have a nanny, spouse, family member, or friend lend a helping hand, especially when dealing with preschoolers.
- You need me time. You should take time and rewind. Do what you love, and take care of yourself physically and emotionally. Where possible, get out and have time with friends. Avoid putting your life on hold.
- Retreat. When things feel like they are getting out of hand, retreat. Let someone take care of the children and take a vacation, road trip, or holiday without the children.
- Allow the children independence. It is normal for a mother to want to control her children, but it’s okay to let them chart their path. When they become independent, they will be less worried, and being a mom will be an enjoyable task.
It is normal to feel like being a mom is too much, even for the strongest woman. Identify the cause of the feeling and take appropriate steps to remedy the situation. It could help you enjoy motherhood.