Navigating a Strained Relationship: Your Daughter Withdraws

No parent wants to hear their daughter doesn’t want to see them. When we bring our children into the world, we want the best for them from the beginning. As we watch them grow, we imagine what they’ll do and the paths they’ll take. We watch their first steps and begin considering which college they’ll attend. And as they grow older and start adapting to life, we watch on with pride.

The relationships between parents and children have many ups and downs. And it can be incredibly troubling when your relationship with your daughter becomes strained. How do you cope when you’re struggling with a damaged relationship with your child? How do you manage when your daughter doesn’t want to see you anymore? Stay tuned!

What To Do When Your Daughter Doesn’t Want To See You Anymore

Here’s what you need to do when your daughter doesn’t want to see you anymore:

Find The Reason

The first thing you need to do when you find yourself in a situation where your daughter doesn’t want to see you is to find out why. What is the reason for the separation? What makes them behave the way they do? There could be various reasons why that’s so, and your work is to find the right answer.

The reason might be you. Maybe your behavior has given your daughter reasons to back off. Or, it has nothing to do with you. There could be a significant other or organization influencing them. That’s why understanding the reason fully will help you in this situation, as various reasons need unique solutions.

Speak to them – your daughter may not want to see you, but they may be willing to talk. Reach out to them and see if they’re open to a conversation. If you can get them to speak, that will be the fastest way to figure out what’s going on.

Note that this conversation may be challenging, especially if your behavior contributed to the estrangement, and hearing your daughter talk about your actions will hurt them. But remember, we all make mistakes, and hearing why your daughter is upset is as crucial as understanding what you did and finding ways to improve the situation.

Speak to others – suppose your daughter refuses to talk. Try conversing with others, such as older children unaware of the situation. If you don’t have older children, talk with people you know and trust like other parents.

Explain to these parents what’s happening and how you can re-establish your relationship with your daughter. Hopefully, these people will help you learn how to solve this personally.

Self-reflection – if finding out why the estrangement is impossible, self-reflection may be your next best shot. You can dig deep starting from their childhood, alone, with a therapist, or other trusted confidant.

Work your way through the years and try to establish where things went wrong. This may not be easy, but it could be the only way out.

Try And Repair The Damage

Although not all damage is repairable, your daughter is worth the effort. But be prepared that the process can be painful.

Keep trying – being rejected by your daughter is very discouraging and hurts deeply. But if you want the relationship to improve, you must try. Keep calling her if she picks up your calls. If she’s not willing to, try writing letters. Tell her you to love her but don’t overdo it.

Be the best you can be – your daughter doesn’t want to see you anymore for a reason. And if your behaviors presently or in the past led to the estrangement, you can opt to work on yourself.

Maybe you weren’t the best parent, and that’s okay as you’re only human. However, that doesn’t mean you can’t do better in the future. Think about your role in this estrangement and what you can do differently. They work on being the best version of yourself.

By being a better person, you will be ready for your daughter should she need you. Your daughter may also be encouraged by your behavior and come back sooner.

Accept The Situation

You’ve tried your best and anything possible to repair the relationship, but nothing seems to work. What do you do? In the end, you cannot control other people’s reactions towards you, including your daughter. All you can do is focus on yourself.

So, accept the situation for what it is. And although emotional pain is dangerous, there are various coping skills you can use towards acceptance.

Find your spirituality – spirituality is a connection between you and something bigger than yourself. When hurting, turn to God. And if you’re not a Christian, explore other spiritual paths. Find something to study and believe in; a little faith can help you heal your soul.

Practice self-care – take care of yourself, find new hobbies, or make daily time for yourself. List activities that you can do to enhance your mental health. For instance, walks, puzzles, reading, cooking, exercising, or showering. Just do something that makes you feel good for you.

Get support – navigating through a strained relationship with your child is difficult. But you don’t have to do it alone. Reach out to others for help. Speaking to someone at church or a support group for parents undergoing the same losses should be okay. Yes, shame is involved in explaining the situation, but there’s comfort in talking to someone.

Conclusion

Whether your daughter speaks to you or not, she is still your kid. And even if your daughter doesn’t want to see you anymore and there is no change on the horizon, keep your head up. Find out why she’s behaving that way (what went wrong) by talking to her or other family members. Once established, do what you can to mend the damaged relationship.

If things are not getting better, find a place in your heart to accept the situation and start taking care of yourself in the meantime.