Most parents have often received eye rolls, rude comments, and flat-out disrespect from their adorable children. If your kid talks back, the heat of the moment can make you snap, leading to many things you wish you didn’t say and threats you don’t want to follow through on.
However, if you can keep your cool for a couple of additional minutes, you’d be able to think clearly and even enforce creative punishments that will help your child learn that talking back is bad. This article discusses various creative punishments for talking back that can get the point across without making your home miserable.
Creative Punishments For Talking Back
Regarding talking back, this is a trained behavior. It is a way kids exemplify displeasure when they feel like they have no control. They voice their feelings explosively because they feel they’re often unheard.
This doesn’t validate talking back, as it’s still disrespectful. However, if you cultivate open communication with your kid, talking back will dramatically reduce. Here are ways you can help curb talking back in your child:
As mentioned, talking back means your child has something to say, so give them space to say it. If they are young, you can ask them what has made them angry and allow them to express themselves. If they are older, have them research whatever triggered them.
For instance, if you ask them to clean their room, have them look up the psychological significance of a tidy room. If the talk back started over homework, make them research the value of education. A couple of hours later, sit down and debate with them.
Let them know they can only use researched facts and that the debate is not about personal opinions. The point is twofold: one is that they learn how to communicate their case effectively, and two, they begin seeing the reason behind your request.
Owning The Mumble
If anything is infuriating is back talk that isn’t clear and concise. That mumble your child mutter as they walk is like waving a red flag in your face.
Stop your kid and have them repeat it at a normal volume. Once you get what they said, take a few breaths and encourage them to sit at the table. Let the silence stretch while you’re gathering your thoughts. Keep your tone at an even volume and ask your child to repeat. Note that your child is mumbling because they know what they’re saying is unacceptable.
This does not mean it’s not permitted in human interaction, just that it’s not acceptable to say something to you at the moment. If what your child has said is not too bad and makes sense in retrospect, respect it. Discuss ways of going forward and keeping the mumble out of it next time.
However, if they say awful things, make them repeat them repeatedly, out loud, at a normal volume. Ask them to think about their chosen words and how they said them. Ask them if that was conducive and led to what they aimed for.
Note that this is all about teaching your kid acceptable ways of conversing. And soon, they’ll realize how ridiculous they sound. You may have to repeat this approach several times to be effective.
You’re My Buddy
This is more like a parenting glue and works best if you’re ready to commit a full day with your child right by your side.
This approach works for many other bad behaviors, not talking back alone. Don’t plan anything special for your day and go about your regular business; let them stay with you for all of it.
If this was a chore day, make their pitch in. if it’s a workout day, take them along. The same if it was an errand day. While doing so, talk with them. Keep up a steady thrum of conversation, and be free to add a couple of lectures about human interaction for maximum effect.
Make it clear to your child that they’re welcome to talk to you or add to the conversation, but not talk back. The whole day should be filled with good tones and effective communication. If it deviates to something else, sit down and have a few silent moments to reset the day.
Pick Your Punishment
This is a great approach because most children often don’t think it through and, thus, learn more than if you chose for them. Your child will know they did something wrong and were disrespectful, and they know there will be consequences.
However, when you place punishment in their hands, you give them a sense of control while ensuring they don’t get angry with you over the consequences. You should still play it right and don’t do anything in the heat of the moment.
Give your child one hour to sit and discuss their punishment. Know that their punishment will be stiffer and harsher than anything you’d have come up with, letting you tone it down to an acceptable level. Here, everyone wins.
The Tried And True Easy Route
if you’ve tried everything and they all failed, try taking away a coveted item. Such as removing their after-school freedom, phone, or an upcoming event that can keep them in line.
This approach is easy, works, and the bad behavior stops for fear of losing even more. However, it doesn’t teach your child anything except that the behavior won’t be tolerated. So, don’t use it for back talk unless you’ve tried other methods and they failed. And that you need compliance without question for your sanity.
Talking back is terrible, and as a parent, you need to try your best to help your child stop it. But if you’ve spent months or even years trying to get back talk under control with no success, it may be time to look for professional help. Yes, it’s hard to admit, but sometimes backtalk and defiance are caused by deeper-seated issues.
In such a case, set your child with a counselor who will let you know whether to seek therapy or a psychiatric evaluation. Remember, it takes a village to raise a child, so don’t struggle alone past the point of fracturing your bond with your child.