Although you knew your spouse had kids from a previous relationship, you married them. And since the two of you love each other so much, you think you’ll spend the rest of your lives amicably without problems. One thing you didn’t consider is that blended families are dynamic, and you can’t predict how they’ll come out.
While it’s good to be optimistic and that there are success stories of blended families, having the “what if” at the back of your mind also helps. As much as you envision your blended family to be great, that does not mean it would be.
What if it doesn’t? What if there are anger, frustrations, and resentments as it grows? Should you call it quits? If so, when should you leave? Read on to learn more about when to leave your spouse because you’ve had enough of your stepchild.
When To Leave Because Of Stepchild
Here are signs your stepchild is complicating things in your blended family, and you should call it quits:
Your Stepchild Makes You Feel Unsafe
Sometimes your stepchild may threaten to hurt you or cause you harm. This is especially common in teenage or adult stepchildren who know what they are doing, unlike younger kids. So, it’s about time to leave if you are afraid or feel unsafe in your own home because of your stepchildren. You don’t want to compromise your safety by keeping a relationship that may hurt you.
Your Stepchild Doesn’t Listen To You
Parents are responsible for instilling discipline in their kids, whether the kids are theirs or their spouses’. And if your stepchild doesn’t listen to you, disciplining and imparting good behaviors may be challenging. Your stepchild may intentionally disobey the rules you laid or sneak around the rules behind your back.
Disciplining your child is complicated already; now imagine disciplining your stepchild who knowingly disobeys your rules and doesn’t listen to you. When disciplining stepchildren, drawing the line between what is right and what is not is vague. Worse is when the other spouse is against the idea of discipline, creating a lot of rift between you and your partner. In that case, it’s better to leave rather than stay.
Your Stepchild Is Manipulative
Staying with your stepchild means you are often around them. This lets them know what you like, dislike, and how to push your buttons. Your stepchild may be emotionally manipulative and guilt you into letting them do what they want, telling you that their other parent allows them. Or they may manipulate you into doing what they want you to by accusing you of being unloving or hurting them.
Knowing when someone is manipulative is challenging. So, if you suspect your stepchild is manipulative, try to work things out by involving them and their parents. If things don’t work out, step out of the relationship.
Your Stepchild Tell Lies About You
You may be hurt or frustrated if your stepchild falsely accuses you of mistreating them or treating your child better than them. In such a case, you may find yourself doing the detective work to clear yourself the blame, which is hard. Worse is when other family members or friends believe the lies about you. This can get things messy, and you may end up being threatened or receiving malicious attacks from people you’ve tried your best to build a relationship with.
Someone saying bad lies about you is hard enough, but having a person lying about you daily is even worse. And if the lies reach an unbearable point, it’s better to leave for your peace’s sake.
Your Stepchild Hurts Your Children
Although it’s normal for children to fight and sometimes hurt one another, bullying or repeatedly hurting others without any reason is not normal. If your stepchild hurts or bullies your child for no apparent reason, respond with understanding and kindness while doing the appropriate consequences – like trying therapy. But if doing so doesn’t seem to work, you may want to consider calling it quits.
Your child’s safety and well-being should be your number one priority. So, if, for any reason, your stepchild threatens your child’s safety or puts them in danger, decide for yourself what you want. Staying in a family where your child is not safe or leaving the family for your child’s safety.
When Your Stepchild Is Causing Chaos In The Entire Home
Not all kids are the same, some are calm, and others are not. Depending on the previous family relationship your stepchild had, they may be addicted to chaos. This is especially more common if the parents used to fight regularly before their divorce. A child from such a family is broken and may be addicted to chaos. So, unless they seek therapy and agree to work on their behavior, accepting that they are not normal, things may be tough in your home.
Your stepchild may not be happy when they see everyone is peaceful at home. And they may go the extra mile to create problems between you and your spouse so that you fight, as this is what makes them happy. So, if you establish your stepchild is addicted to chaos, seek therapy for them. If things don’t improve, consider leaving. It’s not worth it living in a messy house with constant fights.
You Have Started Thinking About Ending Your Stepchild’s Life
Stepchildren can sometimes be annoying, and getting angry or pissed of is normal. However, if you feel you’ve reached your endpoint with your stepchild and that you can do anything to get them out of the way, it’s best to leave for your sanity and peace of mind.
Things happen, and many stepparents have been accused of killing their stepchildren. You don’t want to be among them, do you? So, if you feel you’ve had enough and can’t take it any longer, leave before you get your hands dirty.
Living with stepchildren is not an easy task. And although disputes happen, it’s best to solve them amicably or involve a family therapist. But if doing so doesn’t help, it’s best to leave for your peace and sanity.