Your daughter hates you but loves her dad. She has always been daddy’s little girl since day one. It’s not your fault at all. They were so close, and he did everything for her. He spoiled her rotten, and she loved him for it. You were never the same kind of mother to her as he was.
She didn’t understand why you treated her like a little adult instead of an innocent toddler. So in her mind, she thought it wasn’t fair enough that you overcontrolled and said ‘no’ to her passion and interests. Yet her father allowed her interests and preference without being too overprotective or strict. And that’s probably why she loves her father and hates you.
However, you don’t have to worry about this, as you can rectify your relationship. Wondering how? Keep reading to learn more.
Why your Daughter Hates You But Loves Her Dad
Your daughter is a different person from the one you gave birth to. She has her thoughts, opinions, and beliefs. She is her person and has the right to live that life as she sees fit.
Yet, if you’re like most mothers, you’ve been trying to control her since day one. You’ve probably tried to mold her into what you think is “proper” behavior and “correct” thinking – even when she was too young to understand what those things meant.
And now that she’s a teenager, there’s no stopping you. You want nothing more than to control every aspect of her life – including her friends and the clothes she wears. Your only goal is to keep her safe and happy – or so you say.
In reality, all you want for her is to do what you want to feel good about yourself as a parent, yet the tide keeps changing. The more you try to attach yourself to her, the more she loses interest in you and probably hates you.
So you are left wondering what could be the problem. As per our research, we have agreed that various parental instances may play a key role in your awful mother-daughter relationship. Below we sample some of them.
You Are Too Strict With Her
If you are too strict with your daughter, this might make her think she has little freedom in your house. It will make her feel they have no control over their lives and everything is under parental instructions. Many daughters won’t blend well with this.
You Don’t Give Her Enough Attention
You are not spending enough time with her. You are always busy doing work or chores, so you can spare a few minutes to engage her. You must understand that if you don’t give your daughter enough attention and love, she may feel unloved and unwanted, arousing her moods and wellness.
Controlling Her Life
Another factor could be being controlled like a toy. Your daughter is an adult now and wants to lead her own life. So she doesn’t need your approval on everything she does, even if it is choosing clothes for a party or changing her hairstyle. Controlling will eventually lose her affection and trust and eventually hate you.
You Don’t Trust Her Judgment
If your daughter tells you that she doesn’t want to go on holiday with her friends because they’re planning something stupid like bungee jumping off a bridge or skydiving without proper training, then don’t try convincing her otherwise!
Trusting someone’s judgment means letting them make their own mistakes instead of trying to do things for them all.
You’re Too Overprotective
Your daughter may hate you because you are overprotective. Your daughter wants independence and freedom to make her own decisions and mistakes. She doesn’t want to be treated like a child anymore.
You’re a Mother, so You Have To Be a Perfectionist
You want your daughter to be perfect. But that’s not what she wants. She wants to be free from the pressure of perfection and from you nagging her about everything she does. Talking to her about perfection regularly raises her anger and transfers her loyalty to her dad.
Daughter Hate You Solution
Foremost, make sure there’s no other underlying issue that needs to be addressed between you two. Maybe she is angry because you have been strict. Or any other conflict. Once you sort it out, you can slowly begin building close relationships while listening to her concerns and addressing them accordingly.
Here are some suggestions on how you can easily win your daughter’s lost love, loyalty, and trustworthiness.
Be Patient and Kind With Her
You don’t need to demand respect from your daughter or try to force her into liking you. If she needs time and space, give it to her. Allow her to make her own decisions.
Give Her Space When She Needs It
Don’t pressure her into talking about things until she feels ready; this will only make her more upset and possibly drift her away from you. Instead, give her time and space when she needs it — whether that means letting her stay up late on weeknights to have some “me time,”
Listen To Her
You need to listen to what she has to say. Don’t interrupt her or tell her how she should feel or act. Let her speak freely and openly about what is bothering them. If she doesn’t want to talk about it right away, let it go for some time and probably try later when in a better mood.
Don’t Force Your Opinions on Her
Try not to advise unless she asks for it or asks for your opinion. If she does ask for advice, don’t judge or criticize her situation or lifestyle choices. Being judgmental might break her trust and never share their situation with you.
And unfortunately, this may cause relationship shake-ups in the future, where she will probably need you more.
Ultimately, daughters tend to have a closer relationship with their fathers than their mothers. It could be because she is conditioned by society. Or she may subconsciously idolize her father and finds the mother just an obstacle between her and the father.
Ultimately, society has always blurred the lines between mothers and daughters, which can sometimes result in motherly love being replaced by jealousy between them.