Although it’s coming from a place of love, your parents and in-laws should not kiss your baby, however irresistible that may be. Newborns have an immature and weaker immune system compared to adults. That means a little exposure to microbes can take a huge toll on their health. Ingredients in moisturizers and chapsticks that people often apply on their faces may also contain harmful chemicals that can affect your kid’s health. We know your kid, your rules. But how do you tell your kid’s grandparents not to kiss your baby? Where do you start? Read on!
How To Tell Grandparents Not To Kiss The Baby
Before telling grandparents not to kiss baby, the first thing to do is to arm yourself with facts. Do you have materials supporting your argument? Grandparents might think you’re overreacting. So, it’s better to go with facts. Research clinical studies that will back up what you’re saying and show them how their activities would keep your baby sound in the long run.
Assure the grandparents that this is temporary until your kid is more established and their immune system is more developed and mature. And that they only need to sit tight for some months before they can resume kissing the baby.
Stick to research studies, don’t make it personal and tell them it’s more on the baby than you. Show them evidence of how kissing can make your child sick.
The tone, choice of words, and the place you have the conversation matter. First, it’s great to hold such a conversation somewhere else, away from home. This way, the child would not be around, and grandparents wouldn’t be focusing on them. Explain to them politely that there are infections that can be asymptomatic, like herpes infection. And that mouth blisters are mostly infectious long before the sores show up. Watch your tone and words well so they don’t misunderstand you.
The grandparents may get resentful at first. But if you maintain your politeness and ask them lovingly, assuring them that the rules apply to everyone and not just them, they’ll understand that it’s not personal.
I know how parents and in-laws can be convincing at times. But you need to stand your ground and be firm. Don’t waiver however much they’ll try to convince you otherwise. You and your partner have the final say on your kid. And if you don’t like them not to kiss your baby, they should understand.
Don’t Be Defensive
Don’t get defensive if you’re blamed for blowing or being overprotective. Ascertain grandparents that the kissing restriction isn’t close to home and is for everyone around your child.
Hold The Conversation Before Delivery
Kissing children has many negative effects. So, it’s very justifiable if you plan to have people as far from your little one as might be feasible. However, grandparents are special, and especially grandmothers would want to hold and constantly kiss the baby.
Soon, you’ll realize you should have held the conversation long before you had the baby. Doing so will allow you to discuss other guidelines in your house, like acting around the child when they are recuperating. It will also give grandparents enough chance to discuss everything they wish, ask questions, and conform to your guidelines once you have your baby.
Set Rules When Grandparents Fall Sick
In the same way, you set rules that grandparents should not kiss babies when they are well; you should do the same when they become sick. Set standards that the grandparents should refrain from visiting your home when sick until they get well. Because the truth is, it might be difficult for them not to cross paths. And if at all they happen to be at your place and get sick while there, they should not see the baby until they recover. Some illnesses, like flu, may seem simple but can hit infants hard and probably lead to severe complications.
Work As A Team
United you stand, divided you fall. Unite as a couple and work as a team. Show your partner that you support a healthy relationship between them and their parents. But you’d appreciate it if they supported you and asked the grandparents not to kiss the baby. If you two stand firm together, it would be easy for grandparents to respect your decisions. However, if one of you is for the idea, and the other is on the other side, it may be challenging to enforce such rules.
Be Okay If Your In-laws Don’t Agree With You
Sometimes you may do your best and everything you can to make your in-laws understand, but they won’t. Some may even get upset in the process. Should you be upset too? No!
Even though you’d like a healthy relationship between you two, it’s okay if they get upset. Disagreements always happen, and they don’t signal the end of the world. You’re just a parent trying to advocate for the best for your child. So, don’t feel guilty.
Blame The Doctor
If you’ve tried all the above tips and none is working, blame the doctor. Tell the grandparents that it’s your doctor’s instructions. And although your parents and in-laws may not take your words seriously, they may regard the rules if they come from the pediatrician.
To ensure everything runs smoothly, talk with your doctor first and ask them about the dangers of kissing a baby and how to stop grandparents from kissing the child.
Take A Deep Breath
Lastly, when you feel grandparents are driving you nuts, take a deep breath and relax. And remember they are still your parents and partners’ parents.
It may not be hard to tell grandparents not to kiss a baby, but it’s not simple either. Grandparents are just grandparents. And they would want to linger on your baby’s face and kiss their cute, chubby cheeks. The most crucial thing is to know how to tell them. Be polite yet firm, unite as a couple, go with facts, and don’t get defensive. Grandparents will understand where you’re coming from and won’t take it personal. If they don’t, take a deep breath and say you tried.