My sweet Julianna,
It’s one year today – your heaven day. This is what I’m choosing to call it, because this is the most important part of June 14th. It’s bigger than my sorrow and shock and pain.
I know you are free now, and gloriously happy — even happier than you were here. Happier in a way that I can’t really imagine. Your body doesn’t hold you back anymore, and you can run, jump and play. I think you are playing with children now. (We adults did our best, but it’s just not the same…) This does my heart good.
I miss you – so much. I know that you didn’t want me to be sad, but I am still bound by this world’s limitations. Better me than you 🙂
You taught me that happiness and heartbreak can coexist, so today I will try for happiness.
I’ll wear pink, and I will play with Alex.
I’ll seek out beauty in everything and everyone.
I will be honest but kind.
My hair will be neat.
Most of all, I will be thankful. I got to be your mom. Nothing can take that away.
Until I see your sweet face again,
With a zillion billion kisses,
My thanks to CNN for publishing a piece I wrote about our hospice experience. Because we started following Julianna’s example, we had eighteen beautiful months. She gave us the courage to face our greatest fear.