This week, we received a gift from a self-described “member of Julianna’s Awkward Unicorn Club”: cookies.
Julianna-inspired cookies, to be exact.
They were addressed to Alex, and he was also a cookie-muse. (He just got his blue belt in real life. I have stopped believing in coincidences.)
This is Julianna, fighting stupid CMT. She is just as Alex imagined her a few months ago, and has achieved the highest belt in the world according to Julianna (pink, with a purple sparkly stripe. Her toenails are even painted…)
Much to Alex’s delight, there was another breed of Awkward Unicorn. These poop rainbow colored poop (candy decorations). He just had to remove their marshmallow “butt plugs” and give them a shake. (Simultaneously gross and cute. Julianna would have loved it too.)
The one with Julianna in her hanbok is my favorite.
In her attached note, the master cookier (I don’t think it’s a word, but it should be) wrote:
I was admiring the angel cookies, had them all lined up and was wondering if she would be pleased…
…and the room and outside in an instant turned bright blush pink. The sun was setting and it should have been getting darker, but for a minute, it became very bright, and very pink.
In a world in which a mother is required to witness her child’s first and last breath, nothing makes sense. I didn’t expect this aspect of grief, grappling with the meaninglessness of it all.
At the same time, meaning can come from unexpected sources. Cookies, when they look exactly like ones that your daughter would send and are crafted by someone you’ve never met, make it just a little better.
I’m pretty sure she was pleased.